Light of my Life..

Oh Light of my life where are thee?
Mommy misses you my baby…
Come to me…
Come put your head in my lap and sleep…
Let me sing a sweet lullaby to make you peacefully sleep…
Let me hug you to myself and wipe all the fears of thee…
Let me love you freely like I want…
A little boy who calls me in my dreams…
Go hold him an inner voice screams…
But he is so far…
The distance so great…
That when I reach out to touch him…
He is not there…
And my love and longing…
Are lost in thin air…
I can smell the fragrance of his hair…
Can feel the warmth of that little body…
That smile on his lips…
The mischievous grin…
That twinkle in his eyes…
And the life in him…
But cannot hold him when I want to…
Ask myself can I live with this too…
Like all other miseries that I go through… Everything that he is comes back to me…
Those silly pranks that he played on me…
And brilliant questions he had for me…
God how I love him want him with me…
He is my baby isn’t he?
Why cannot I have him if need be…
The urge to touch the need to see…
An ache so bad and the pain I feel…
Cannot put it in words it hurts me so…
Want to kiss those warm cheeks of his…
Hold onto those chubby hands when he sleeps… What will he do if he feels cold at night…
Who will warm him with a hug that’s tight…
Who will comfort him if he fears at night…
Who will explain him his loneliness right…
Can someone take my place for him I doubt… Sometimes I wish that someone might…
It will be good for him and so right…
But I’ll have to be brave and use all my might… To stay without him out of my sight …
I don’t know yet if I can or not…
But it’s so very hard and so very sad…
Not having that light which was my lad…